Bermuda Run Manor House Escape: Excelsior's Unforgettable Luxury!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! We're diving headfirst into the Bermuda Run Manor House Escape: Excelsior's Unforgettable Luxury! – and let me tell you, it's a wild ride. Forget those sterile, perfectly polished hotel reviews. This is real.
First Impressions & Accessibility: Can a Clumsy Person Survive?
Right off the bat, the name is a mouthful, right? "Excelsior's Unforgettable Luxury!" Sounds like something a Victorian gentleman would shout while trying to navigate a cobblestone street. Speaking of which, Accessibility is a big deal for me. I'm not exactly graceful, and I've been known to trip over air. So, the good news: they say they have Facilities for disabled guests. I didn’t need them, but it's reassuring. The Elevator is a godsend. No more huffing and puffing up endless stairs! And Car park [free of charge]. YES! No hidden parking fees are a win in my book.
Navigating the Manor: A Maze of Delights (and Potential Mishaps)
Okay, the Manor House itself? Stunning. Seriously, jaw-dropping. Think sprawling architecture, and, let's be honest, a lot of space to get lost in. The Exterior corridor gave me a little anxiety at first – felt a bit like being on a movie set. But the CCTV in common areas and CCTV outside property put my mind at ease. Feeling safe is HUGE, and they seem to take it seriously.
The Room: My Personal Fortress (and a Few Hiccups)
Alright, let's talk room. They had everything. Seriously, the list of Available in all rooms is insane: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes (yes!), Bathtub, Blackout curtains (essential for my beauty sleep!), Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker (thank the heavens!), Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping (bliss!), Desk, Extra long bed (important, as I'm a bit of a starfish sleeper), Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale (yikes), Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], and a Window that opens.
Wow. Just…wow. The Additional toilet was a nice touch, too. Let's just say, after a long day, it's a lifesaver.
The Wi-Fi Saga: A Tale of Two Connections
Okay, so Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!? Fantastic! And, yes, the Internet access worked, generally, but I had a bit of a moment with the Internet access – LAN. It was a struggle at first. Like, I spent a good hour wrestling with cables and trying to remember my IT password. I may have let out a frustrated yelp or two. But eventually, I prevailed. The Wi-Fi in public areas was pretty solid, though.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Culinary Adventure (and a Few Regrets)
Right, the food. This is where things get interesting. The Restaurants are plentiful. There's A la carte in restaurant, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, and Western breakfast.
The Breakfast [buffet] was…well, it was a buffet. You know the drill. The Asian cuisine in restaurant was surprisingly good, but I made a questionable decision and tried the "mystery meat" at the Snack bar one afternoon. Let's just say, I wouldn't recommend it. The Bottle of water was a lifesaver after that. The Poolside bar was great for a quick cocktail (or three). And the Room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver after a late night. The Happy hour was a good deal.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Spa Day Bliss (and a Near-Disaster)
Okay, the best part. The Spa. Oh. My. God. They have Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, and Swimming pool.
I spent a solid afternoon in the spa. The Massage was pure heaven. Seriously, I think I might have drooled a little. The Sauna was wonderfully hot, the Steamroom was perfect for detoxing. And the Pool with view? Breathtaking.
Now, here’s my messy moment. I decided to get a Body wrap. I was feeling fancy, you see. Turns out, I'm claustrophobic. I started to panic, and I almost ripped the whole thing off. The masseuse was so calm and understanding, and she helped me through it. It was a near-disaster, and it was my fault, but they handled it like pros.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe (Mostly)
They take this seriously, and it's comforting. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, and Sterilizing equipment. They also had First aid kit, and the Doctor/nurse on call is a reassurance.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag
Air conditioning in public area? Check. Business facilities? Sure, but I didn’t use them. Cash withdrawal? Handy. Concierge? Super helpful. Contactless check-in/out? Smooth. Convenience store? Useful. Currency exchange? Good to know. Daily housekeeping? YES! Doorman? Always a nice touch. Dry cleaning? Didn't use it, but good to know. Elevator? Essential. Facilities for disabled guests? Good. Food delivery? Didn’t order any, but nice to have the option. Gift/souvenir shop? Perfect for picking up something for the folks back home. Ironing service? Didn't use it but nice to know. Laundry service? Didn't use it but nice to know. Luggage storage? Convenient. Safety deposit boxes? Reassuring. Smoking area? Good for those who indulge. Terrace? Beautiful. Car park [free of charge]. Still loving that.
For the Kids: Family-Friendly (But I Didn't Test It)
They had Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, and Kids meal. Good to know, but I didn't have any kids with me, so can't comment directly.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy (Mostly)
Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [on-site], and Taxi service. Getting around was easy.
The Verdict: Worth the Trip (With a Few Caveats)
Look, the Bermuda Run Manor House Escape: Excelsior's Unforgettable Luxury! is a seriously impressive place. It's beautiful, the staff is great (especially the spa staff!), and they clearly put a lot of effort into making it a luxurious experience.
Would I go back? Absolutely. But I'd definitely be more careful with the "mystery meat" and maybe avoid the body wrap. And I’d pack my own IT specialist for the Wi-Fi.
My Quirky Observations & Opinions:
- The "Excelsior" thing: Honestly, it feels a bit pretentious. Maybe they could tone it down?
- The hallways: They're a bit long. Wear comfortable shoes!
- The food: Stick to the safe options. The buffet is your friend.
Final Grade: 4.5 out of 5 Stars (Minus half a star for the mystery meat)
SEO-Optimized Offer: Book Your Unforgettable Escape Now!
Headline: Escape to Luxury at Bermuda Run Manor House: Your Dream Getaway Awaits!
**Body
Manila's Paradise Found: Airport Condo Suite w/ Palm Tree Views!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into a Bermuda Run adventure that's less "Pinterest perfect" and more "real life, with a healthy dose of questionable choices." This isn't your grandma's itinerary; this is my itinerary, and it's gonna be… well, we'll see.
The Great Bermuda Run Escape: A Hot Mess Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival & The Great Golfing Debacle (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Slice)
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Excelsior at The Manor House. Okay, first impressions: the place is gorgeous. Like, magazine-worthy gorgeous. I'm already intimidated. The lobby smells faintly of lemon and the silent judgement of the perfectly manicured ferns. Check-in was smooth, too smooth. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Spoiler: It probably will.)
- 1:30 PM: Unpack. Or, more accurately, attempt to unpack. My suitcase exploded. Clothes everywhere. I swear, I packed for a polar expedition and a beach vacation simultaneously. Priorities.
- 2:30 PM: Head to the golf course. This is where things get… interesting. I haven't swung a club since high school, which, let's be honest, was a long time ago. My optimistic self (the one who packed those golf shoes) thought I'd be a natural. My pessimistic self (the one currently staring at the divot I just created) is thinking, "Oh, honey, no."
- 3:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Golf. Oh, sweet, agonizing golf. My shots were a glorious disaster. The slice was my constant companion. The ball spent more time in the rough than on the fairway. I think I spent more time apologizing to the other golfers (who were clearly professionals) than actually playing. At one point, I swear I saw a squirrel laughing at me. I may or may not have yelled at a particularly stubborn dandelion.
- 6:30 PM: Drinks at the Manor House bar. Needed. Seriously, I needed a stiff drink. The bartender was a lifesaver. He commiserated, offered a dry wit, and poured a mean Old Fashioned. This is where I started to feel better, mostly because I could no longer see the golf course.
- 7:30 PM: Dinner at the Manor House restaurant. The food was… okay. Overpriced, as expected. The ambiance was lovely, though, and I managed to mostly avoid eye contact with the judging ferns. They're always watching.
Day 2: Spa Day & Existential Dread (Or, Why I Can't Relax)
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. Or, drag myself out of bed. My golf-induced muscle aches have set in. Apparently, I'm not as young as I think I am.
- 9:30 AM: Breakfast. The continental breakfast was… continental. Mostly pastries that were slightly stale. Coffee was good though. I need coffee.
- 10:00 AM: Spa time! Finally, something I can actually enjoy. Or so I thought. The massage was lovely, truly. But my brain, bless its chaotic little heart, decided to go into overdrive. Suddenly, I'm contemplating my life choices, the meaning of existence, and whether or not I should have ordered the avocado toast. (I didn't. Regret.)
- 11:30 AM: Steam room. Okay, this is relaxing. I sat in the steam, closed my eyes, and tried to think about nothing. It worked for approximately 30 seconds. Then I started to worry about how much water I was drinking and if I was going to need to use the restroom.
- 12:30 PM: Lunch at the spa. Salad. Healthy, boring salad. I eyed the chocolate cake from the dessert menu. I didn’t. (Regret intensifies.)
- 2:00 PM: Explore the grounds. Walking around, I stumbled upon a hidden garden with a fountain. It was genuinely beautiful. I felt a moment of peace. Then a bee buzzed past my ear, and I screamed.
- 3:00 PM: Poolside. I tried to read a book, but I kept getting distracted by the people playing pool. The water looked inviting, but I just didn't want to get wet.
- 5:00 PM: Pre-dinner drinks at the bar. The bartender remembered my Old Fashioned preference. Bless him.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a local restaurant, recommended by a friend. It was a small, family-owned place with amazing food! The kind of place where the waitress calls you "hon." I might have eaten too much. Don't judge me.
Day 3: The Bermuda Run Farewell (Or, The Calm Before the Chaos of Real Life)
- 9:00 AM: Breakfast. I skipped the pastries, knowing I'd be regretting it later.
- 10:00 AM: One Last Golf Attempt. I am not one to give up easily. I went back to the course. I still sliced. I still cursed the dandelion. But, I did hit one decent shot. One. It was glorious.
- 11:00 AM: Check out. Bye, beautiful Manor House. I'll miss you, even if I won't miss the judgement of the ferns.
- 12:00 PM: Depart. Back to reality, back to the chaos of work, bills, and the never-ending laundry pile. But hey, at least I have some good (and slightly embarrassing) stories to tell.
Final Thoughts:
Bermuda Run was a mixed bag. The Manor House was stunning, the golf was a disaster, the spa was relaxing until it wasn't, and the food was… well, it was food. But, overall, it was an escape. A chance to disconnect, even if I spent most of my time overthinking everything. And, honestly, that's kind of the point, isn't it? Now, where's that chocolate cake?
Manila's Paradise Found: Airport Condo Suite w/ Palm Tree Views!
Bermuda Run Manor House Escape: Excelsior's Unforgettable Luxury! (Or...Is It?) - FAQs
Okay, so you're thinking about Bermuda Run Manor House Escape, huh? "Excelsior's Unforgettable Luxury!" – well, let's just say my experience was… *unforgettable*. Here's the lowdown, peppered with my own personal, slightly chaotic, and totally honest take. Brace yourselves.
Pre-Escape Jitters: The Booking & Expectations Game
Q: How do I book? Is it easy? (Please, Lord, be easy!)
A: Booking? It *should* be simple. Website, phone, maybe carrier pigeon if you're feeling fancy. I booked online, and it *was* easy. Until… the confirmation email went to SPAM. Panicked, I called, got someone super nice, and she sorted it out. So, yeah, easy-ish. Check your spam folder, folks! And maybe double-check the dates… I almost showed up a week early, which would have been a *disaster*. (My fault entirely, mind you, but still…)
Q: What's the price range? Is it worth the cost? (My wallet is weeping.)
A: Let's be honest, it’s not exactly a budget getaway. It's priced to reflect the "luxury" angle. Worth it? That depends. If you're expecting a flawless, Downton Abbey-esque experience, maybe temper those expectations. I went in expecting pristine perfection, and… well, let’s just say I found some dust bunnies. Seriously, one was HUGE. But the puzzles were clever, and the setting *is* beautiful. So, maybe yes? Maybe no? I'm still on the fence. (My wallet is definitely still weeping, though.)
Q: What's the difficulty level? Are we talking beginner-friendly or brain-bending wizardry? (Help!)
A: They say "intermediate". I'd say... leans towards the harder side of intermediate. We got stuck. Multiple times. And I’m not ashamed to admit we needed *a lot* of hints. The puzzles are well-designed, but some are…tricky. Bring your A-game brainpower. And maybe a friend who's good at logic. I brought my friend Sarah, who's great at organizing things, and… well, let's just say we had a *heated* debate about the correct order of the teacups. (It was her fault. Just kidding… mostly.)
The Manor House Experience: Inside the Escape Room
Q: What's the atmosphere like? Is it immersive? (Do I feel like I'm actually in a manor house?)
A: The setting? Spectacular. The detail? Impressive. It *does* feel like you're in a manor house. There were antique furniture, portraits, and even a secret passage (which, by the way, was *way* cooler than I expected). The lighting was atmospheric, and the music added to the mood. But… and this is a big but… the "luxury" wasn't *entirely* consistent. See, I’m a sucker for a good detail, and I spotted a few… let’s call them "minor imperfections." Like a slightly wobbly candlestick. And the aforementioned dust bunny. Still, the overall atmosphere was fantastic. I’m being nitpicky, I know.
Q: What kind of puzzles are there? Are they creative? (I'm tired of locks!)
A: The puzzles were generally excellent! Not *all* locks, thank goodness. They were varied, clever, and incorporated the theme well. There was a bit of everything: riddles, codes, observation, and some surprisingly tactile challenges. One puzzle involved a grandfather clock, and it was brilliant! I won’t spoil it, but it was a real "aha!" moment. We spent a good 15 minutes just staring at the clock, muttering and pulling our hair out… then, BAM! Pure puzzle joy. (And a little bit of relief, honestly.)
Q: What happens if we get stuck? Are hints available? (Because, let's face it, we *will* get stuck.)
A: Yes, thankfully, hints are available! And we used them. A lot. The game master was attentive and gave us just enough help to keep us moving without giving away the entire solution. They were also really good at reading our frustration levels. There was a moment, I swear, when I was about to throw a cushion across the room (because I was convinced the answer *wasn't* what we thought it was). The game master gave us the perfect nudge. So, yes, hints are your friend. Embrace them.
Q: What if we don't escape? (The horror!)
A: Well, you don't escape! They'll come get you. You'll be escorted out, probably with a sheepish grin. Look, we didn't escape. We were *so* close. Like, *one* puzzle away. And it KILLS me. I’m pretty sure I could solve it now, a week later. The shame is real, folks. But hey, we had fun (mostly). And we learned a valuable lesson: I should probably brush up on my knowledge of obscure Victorian poetry.
Post-Escape Reflections: The Aftermath
Q: Would you recommend it? (The million-dollar question!)
A: Hmm. Okay, here's the truth: I had a *blast*. Despite the dust bunnies, the near-breakdown moments, and the crushing defeat of failing to escape. It's a well-crafted escape room with a beautiful setting and clever puzzles. If you're looking for a challenging and immersive experience, then yes, I would recommend it. Just don't go in expecting absolute perfection. And maybe bring a lint roller. Seriously.
Q: Any tips or advice for someone going? (Help me not fail!)
A: Okay, here's my hard-earned wisdom:
- **Communicate!** Talk to your team. Out loud! Don't assume everyone is on the same page.
- **Check *everything*.** Every drawer, every book, every painting. Even the things that *seem* insignificant.
- **Don't be afraid to ask for hints.** Seriously. It's better to get help and have fun than to get stuck and miserable.
- **Embrace the chaos.** Things will get messy. You'll argue. You'll laugh. That's part of the fun.
- **And for the love of all that is holy, check the grandfather clock!** (You'll understand when you get there.)
