Bali's Alana Monkey Forest: Unbelievable Belvilla Escape!
Bali's Alana Monkey Forest: Unbelievable Belvilla Escape! - Or, Maybe Just Unbelievable? Let's Dive In! (A Messy, Honest Review)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the jungle of Bali's Alana Monkey Forest. Belvilla's calling it an "Unbelievable Escape," and, well, let's just say my experience was… something. Prepare for a rollercoaster of opinions, because honestly, this place is a bit of a paradox. It's got the good, the bad, and the monkeys – literally.
First Impressions (and a Few Stumbles): Accessibility, Check-In/Out, and the Great Wi-Fi Debate
Finding the Alana wasn't too hard. Google Maps got us there eventually. Accessibility seems decent, though I didn't personally need a wheelchair. There's an elevator, which is a godsend, and I saw some ramps here and there. But listen, if you're super reliant on accessibility, maybe double-check with Belvilla directly. I'm not an expert.
Check-in/out [express] was a plus, but I wasn’t exactly greeted with a smile and a lei. More like a slightly bewildered Indonesian woman who looked like she'd seen a thousand tourists just like me. Check-in/out [private] wasn't really a thing, but they got us in and out efficiently enough.
Now, the Wi-Fi… oh, the Wi-Fi. Belvilla brags about Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and Wi-Fi in public areas. And, technically, they're right. Technically. But the signal was… let's say, temperamental. I spent more time staring at the loading symbol than actually getting work done. Internet access – wireless was available, but don't bank on streaming anything fancy. Internet access – LAN? Haven’t a clue. Didn't see a port. Internet services – they exist, I guess. Just… don't get your hopes up. This is definitely a place to disconnect, which, depending on your point of view, could be a good thing.
Rooms: The Jungle Meets Modern, With a Few Hiccups
The room itself? Pretty decent! Air conditioning was a MUST, and it worked like a charm. Air conditioning in public area – same deal. Additional toilet? Nope. Alarm clock? Yes. Bathrobes? Yes. Bathtub? Yes, and thankfully, it was clean. Blackout curtains? Absolutely essential for sleeping in after a wild night of… well, whatever it is you do in Bali. Carpeting? Nope, thankfully. Closet? Plenty of space. Coffee/tea maker? Yes! Complimentary tea? Yep. Daily housekeeping? They were on it! Desk? Yep, and it was actually functional. Extra long bed? Didn’t need one, but I’m guessing they had them. Free bottled water? Always appreciated. Hair dryer? Check. High floor? Yes! Great view of the… monkeys! In-room safe box? Present and accounted for. Interconnecting room(s) available? I didn’t need one, but good to know. Ironing facilities? Yes. Laptop workspace? Yep, that desk again. Linens? Clean and fresh. Mini bar? Stocked with the essentials. Mirror? Plenty of them. Non-smoking? Thank goodness. On-demand movies? Didn't try. Private bathroom? Yes. Reading light? Essential for those late-night jungle reads. Refrigerator? Kept my Bintangs cold. Safety/security feature? Felt safe. Satellite/cable channels? Plenty to choose from. Scale? Didn't dare step on it. Seating area? Comfy. Separate shower/bathtub? Yes. Shower? Worked fine. Slippers? Nope. Smoke detector? Yes. Socket near the bed? Yes! Sofa? Comfy. Soundproofing? Pretty good, considering the monkeys. Telephone? Who uses those anymore? Toiletries? Basic, but sufficient. Towels? Fluffy. Umbrella? Smart, given the Bali weather. Visual alarm? Didn't need one. Wake-up service? Available. Wi-Fi [free]? See above. Window that opens? Yes, and I recommend you keep it closed unless you want a monkey roommate.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Secure (Mostly)
Okay, this is where the Alana shines. Anti-viral cleaning products? I'd like to believe so. Daily disinfection in common areas? Seemed like it. First aid kit? Probably. Hand sanitizer? Everywhere! Hot water linen and laundry washing? I hope so! Hygiene certification? Not sure. Individually-wrapped food options? Yes, a good touch. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter? They tried. Professional-grade sanitizing services? Maybe. Room sanitization opt-out available? Nope. Rooms sanitized between stays? I'd guess so. Safe dining setup? Yes. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items? Seemed clean. Shared stationery removed? Good. Staff trained in safety protocol? Definitely. Sterilizing equipment? Probably. CCTV in common areas? Yes. CCTV outside property? Yes. Fire extinguisher? Present and accounted for. Front desk [24-hour]? Yep. Non-smoking rooms? Yes. Safety/security feature? Felt secure. Security [24-hour]? Yes. Smoke alarms? Yes. Soundproof rooms? Mostly.
The Food Scene: A Mixed Bag of Delights and Disappointments
A la carte in restaurant? Yes. Alternative meal arrangement? Probably. Asian breakfast? Available. Asian cuisine in restaurant? Yep. Bar? Yes. Bottle of water? Free in the room! Breakfast [buffet]? Yes, and it was pretty decent! Breakfast service? Efficient. Buffet in restaurant? See above. Coffee/tea in restaurant? Yes. Coffee shop? Didn't see one. Desserts in restaurant? Yes, and some were delicious. Happy hour? Yes! International cuisine in restaurant? Yes. Poolside bar? Yes. Restaurants? Several. Room service [24-hour]? Thank goodness! Salad in restaurant? Yep. Snack bar? Yes. Soup in restaurant? Probably. Vegetarian restaurant? Haven't seen one. Western breakfast? Yes. Western cuisine in restaurant? Yes.
Okay, the food. Let’s be honest, it’s not Michelin-star quality. But the breakfast buffet was a lifesaver. Eggs, toast, fruit, the usual suspects. The restaurants offered a decent selection, from local dishes to international fare. I particularly enjoyed the… hmm, I’m trying to remember… Ah, yes! The soup in restaurant one night was actually pretty good. But the coffee… let's just say it wasn't the highlight. The poolside bar was great for a Bintang and a snack.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: Monkey Business (Literally)
This is where the Alana really shines. Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor] – they've got it all! And it’s all pretty darn good.
The massage was heavenly, especially after a long day of… well, everything. The pool with view was stunning, the perfect place to sip a cocktail and watch the sunset. The spa was luxurious, and I highly recommend the sauna and steamroom for a post-massage detox. And the fitness center was actually surprisingly well-equipped.
But let's not forget the main attraction: the Monkey Forest! It's right there! You can walk to it! Just… be warned. These monkeys are bold. Keep your valuables close. And do not make eye contact with their leader. Trust me on this one.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
Air conditioning in public area? Yes. Audio-visual equipment for special events? Probably. Business facilities? They have them. Cash withdrawal? There's an ATM nearby. Concierge? Helpful. Contactless check-in/out? They tried. Convenience store? I think there was a small one. Currency exchange? Available. Daily housekeeping? Fantastic. Doorman? Yes. Dry cleaning? Yes
KL Pool Paradise: 4-Pax Luxury w/ Netflix & WiFi!
Bali Belly & Bliss: My Belvilla Alana Monkey Forest Adventure (A Messy Itinerary)
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your perfectly curated Instagram feed. This is the real deal, the messy, sunburnt, mosquito-bitten truth of my Bali adventure. And it all kicked off at that Belvilla in Ubud, the one near the Monkey Forest. Let’s just say, it wasn’t all zen gardens and yoga mats.
Day 1: Arrival & Immediate Regret (aka "Bali Belly Begins")
- Morning (6:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Flight from… well, let's just say it involved a ridiculously early wake-up call and a questionable airplane croissant. Arrival at Denpasar Airport. Chaos. Absolute glorious, beautiful chaos. The air smelled of frangipani and something else… something… vaguely sewage-y. (Don't judge, it was early.)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Taxi ride to Belvilla Alana Monkey Forest. The driver, bless his soul, drove like he was auditioning for a rally car race. I gripped the seat, muttering prayers, and trying not to hurl my airplane coffee. The views, when I dared to peek, were stunning. Lush rice paddies, vibrant temples… and a million motorbikes buzzing past.
- Afternoon (11:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Check-in. The Belvilla was gorgeous! Seriously, pictures don't do it justice. Private pool, lush gardens, the works. Felt like a celebrity. Immediately jumped in the pool. Bliss. (Note: the pool water tasted faintly of chlorine and happiness.)
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Lunch. Tried the local warung (small local restaurant). Ordered Nasi Goreng. It was… spicy. And then, the rumblings began. The ominous, gut-wrenching rumblings. Uh oh.
- Afternoon (3:00 PM - 6:00 PM): Bali Belly strikes! Spent the afternoon alternating between my lovely villa and the… well, you get the picture. Dehydration kicked in. Regret for that spicy Nasi Goreng. Vowed to stick to plain rice for the next week.
- Evening (6:00 PM onwards): Attempted a sunset stroll around the villa. Failed. Back to bed. Sipping lukewarm water and watching the gecko on the wall. The gecko, at least, seemed to be having a good time.
Day 2: Monkeying Around (Literally!)
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Woke up feeling… slightly less like I was going to explode. Still, cautiously optimistic. Breakfast: plain rice. (I'm sensing a theme here.)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Monkey Forest! Okay, this was the highlight. Seriously. The monkeys are everywhere! They're cheeky, they're grabby, they're adorable, and they're constantly trying to steal your stuff. I saw a monkey snatch a woman's sunglasses right off her face. Pure chaos. I bought a banana to appease them. They were surprisingly polite (for monkeys). Except for one little guy who tried to climb my leg. Screamed like a girl. No shame.
- Lunch (12:00 PM - 1:00 PM): Safe lunch: plain rice. And a banana. From a shop, not a monkey.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Explored the surrounding area. Found a hidden temple. It was serene, peaceful, and completely devoid of tourists (score!). Spent an hour just wandering around, soaking up the atmosphere. Felt a tiny bit less like a walking, talking germ factory.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): Massage. Needed it. My muscles were clenched from the stress of… everything. The massage was incredible! So relaxing. Felt like I was melting into the table. Except for the part where the masseuse kept giggling at my sunburn.
- Evening (6:00 PM onwards): Dinner at a local restaurant. Tried the grilled fish. Delicious! And, thankfully, no subsequent gut-wrenching. Victory! Watched the sunset over the rice paddies. Bali, you are slowly, very slowly, starting to win me over.
Day 3: Temples, Terraces & Tropical Drinks (Mostly successful!)
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Breakfast: plain rice. (I know, I know. But trust me.) Decided to be adventurous and try a smoothie. (Fingers crossed!)
- Morning (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Tegalalang Rice Terraces. Breathtaking. Seriously. The emerald green fields cascading down the hillsides are a sight to behold. Took a million photos. Felt like I was living in a postcard. Spent a good hour just staring, speechless. (Almost forgot about the looming threat of Bali Belly.)
- Lunch (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Lunch overlooking the terraces. Ordered grilled chicken. Played it safe. Enjoyed the view.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Visited a temple. Ubud Palace. It was beautiful and intricate. Saw a traditional dance performance. The music was hypnotic, and the dancers were incredibly graceful. Even though I was half-expecting a monkey to jump on stage at any moment.
- Afternoon (5:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Pool time! Finally got to properly enjoy the villa's pool. Ordered a tropical drink (with ice!) and pretended I was a glamorous movie star. (Okay, maybe not glamorous. More like a slightly sunburnt, slightly bloated movie star.)
- Evening (7:00 PM onwards): Dinner at a restaurant. Trying to be adventurous, got a little carried away with the spice. Regret. (Sigh.) Back to the villa, clutching my stomach and hoping for the best. Bali Belly, you are a relentless foe.
Day 4: The Art of Doing Nothing (Mostly!)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Sleep in! (Finally!) Woke up feeling surprisingly good. Breakfast: plain rice. (You get the picture.)
- Morning (11:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Lounged by the pool. Read a book. Tried to relax. Succeeded, mostly. The sun was warm, the water was cool, and the only drama was a lizard that kept eyeing my banana.
- Lunch (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Plain rice. (I'm starting to think I should write a cookbook: "The Plain Rice Survival Guide to Bali.")
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Tried to practice yoga on the villa's balcony. Failed miserably. My balance is terrible, and the heat was making me sleepy. Ended up lying on the yoga mat, gazing at the sky, and contemplating the meaning of life (or at least, the meaning of plain rice).
- Afternoon (4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): Final massage! Needed another one. The masseuse, bless her soul, just smiled and shook her head when I told her about my food adventures. (She probably gets this all the time.)
- Evening (6:00 PM onwards): Packing. (Ugh.) Dinner at a restaurant. Ordered something bland. (Smartest decision of the trip.) Reflecting on the trip. Bali, you were a wild ride. You tested my stomach, my patience, and my sanity. But you were also beautiful, vibrant, and utterly unforgettable. Even with the Bali Belly.
Day 5: Departure & Dreams of Rice (and Pepto Bismol)
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Breakfast: plain rice. (Goodbye, Bali!)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Farewell taxi ride. Same driver, still driving like a maniac. Held on tight.
- Morning (11:00 AM onwards): Flight home. Dreaming of plain rice.
Alana Monkey Forest: The Belvilla Escape - Uh...What Did I Just Witness? FAQs
Okay, So...What *IS* the Alana Monkey Forest? And Why Am I Considering This Belvilla Thing?
Are the Monkeys... Aggressive? Because, Honestly, I'm Not Great with Monkeys.
What Should I Bring (Besides My Sanity)? The Essentials?
Is it Safe? Like, Actually Safe?
The Belvilla Itself: What Was The Accommodation Like? Did it Live Up To The "Unbelievable" Promise?
What Else is There To DO Around the Monkey Forest? Besides, You Know, Avoiding Monkeys?
Should I Go? Is it Worth the Hype (and the Monkey Mayhem)?
